"We Need to Do Better": The Hidden Harm of ARFID Invalidation
At Whole Body Nutrition we work with many individuals, children, teens and adults who live with Avoidant/Restrictive Food Intake Disorder (ARFID). One of the most heartbreaking aspects of their journeys isn’t the food itself—it’s the way they are treated because of it.
Too often, people with ARFID are met with skepticism, shame, and are constantly gaslit. Their eating difficulties are dismissed as “just being picky,” “bad habits,” or “attention-seeking behavior.” Adults are told they are “eating like a child”, Parents are told they’re being too soft. Kids are told they’ll "grow out of it" or "just need more discipline." And when someone finally receives an ARFID diagnosis, that label is frequently questioned or minimised, even by health professionals.
This invalidation isn’t just frustrating—it’s harmful.
ARFID is not a choice. It’s not a behavior that can be corrected with bribes, punishments, or exposure therapy without consent. It is a complex eating disorder that can be rooted in sensory processing differences, traumatic experiences with food (like choking, vomiting, or force-feeding), or overwhelming anxiety around eating.
Many of the clients we work with are neurodivergent—autistic, ADHDers, or PDAers—who experience the world, and food, very differently than neurotypical people do.
When their needs are ignored or mocked, the result is not “better eating habits.” The result is fear, shutdown, self-doubt, and often a deepening of food avoidance. Some begin to mask their discomfort just to avoid judgment, leading to undernourishment, nutritional deficiencies, and/or digestive issues that could have been prevented with understanding and support.
As health professionals, parents, educators, and community members, we must shift away from compliance-based models of feeding and toward compassionate, curiosity-driven care.
A neuro-affirming, trauma-informed lens asks us to listen first. To believe someone when they say a food’s texture makes them gag. To take seriously the anxiety they feel at the dinner table. To understand that "just one bite" might not feel safe to them—and that’s valid.
We can support nutrition and food variety without pushing, coercing, or overriding autonomy. We can build trust, offer sensory-safe options, and work gently with the individual’s nervous system, not against it.
Progress with ARFID often looks different for everything—and that’s okay.
So, to anyone who’s had their ARFID diagnosis invalidated, who’s been made to feel like a burden or a problem because of the way they eat: We see you. We are sorry. You deserve care that respects your body, your brain, and your lived experience.
We need to do better. And we can do better—by listening more, judging less, and honoring the truth that every person deserves to feel safe around food.
Written by Margo White, your Melbourne-based neurodiversity affirming clinical nutritionist and Neurodivergent advocate.
This article is intended as general advice only and does not replace medical advice. It is recommended that you seek personalised advice specific to your individual needs.
